To The Single Mom

Bectoria Stafford

Women In Discipleship – Blog Post 2

To the single mom going it on her own, I see you. I know you stay up all night worrying about bills to pay, schedules to keep, and a home to keep on track.

I know that you wake up early to make sure you have all the bases covered. I see you putting lunches, and bags, and snacks together, making sure homework is finished and in on time. I know you struggle with taking your kids to school, hoping they aren’t treated differently or labeled as being from a “broken home.” I know you worry about how much a label like that can sting a kid.

I know you struggle through your day to make sure you get everything done, kids where they need to be, and shuttled around as you try to give them some sense of “normal.” I know you struggle with the playdates and practices as you juggle schedules with work and vice versa.

I know you spend your nights cramming in dinner, and cleaning, and schoolwork, and laundry just so you can get in even a moment of family time. I know how much your heart hurts every night when you feel you have fallen short. I know you blame yourself for everything that can go wrong in a day. I know how much it tears at your heart when you put your kids to bed, feeling inadequate, incapable, and alone.

I know about that haunting thought in the back of your mind that tells you that your efforts will never be enough-especially when your kids compare their lives to those of their friends who have two-parent households.

I get it. I get that you feel there isn’t enough to go around. Not enough time, not enough money, not enough of you to give everyone everything they need.

But what if your feeling is wrong? What if there really is enough of what really matters to go around? What if all that is needed, is love? 1 Peter 4:8 says, “above all else, love each other deeply, for love covers a multitude of sins.” A loving home is what God wants for us. That burning desire for a loving home that smolders deep in your heart can be accomplished by following God’s path. 1 John 4:7-21 teaches that love comes from God because God is love. When love is treated as the most precious commodity, all those extra things that threaten to steal your joy are put out to pasture where they belong.

Yes. I get it. Money is very important for covering bills. But what if God can be relied on for that as well? This takes faith and trust. Proverbs 3:5 says, “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” No. God does not want people to sit around waiting for pennies from heaven to come and solve all of their problems. What He does want is for His children to trust in Him. With prayer and trust, people can rely on God to provide opportunities.

1 Corinthians 13:13 says, “and now these three remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” When people lean on faith and trust in God, He is put in His place at the center of a person’s life. Parents hold the responsibility to carry this influence into the home. When God is placed at the center of family life, love is made the focus. As a happy consequence, family time to share that love becomes treasured.

Instead of carrying the load, like single moms tend to do, maybe consider sharing that load with the Creator of the Universe. He knows your situation. Isaiah 41:13 says, “for I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘fear not, I will help you.’” This passage and others like it show that it is God’s desire to help His children. Why not trust Him to do what He so desires for you?

It can be hard for someone with so much responsibility to hand over the trust of anything so precious as a family to anyone else. But God isn’t just “someone else.” He created you. He created all that is around you. He knows your heart. He knows your past, and He knows your future. In addition to being all knowing, God is also all powerful. As much as your kids think the world of you, it must be exhausting to know that even you, “supermom,” have limits. Why not trust God with the rest?

To the single mom going it on her own, I see you. I am you. Together, with God, we got this!

The Co-Founders

Dr. Elaine Bednar DMIN, LPCC-S, LCDC III

Dr. Bednar is also the founder of Dr. Bednar Counseling, LLC. Her education includes Doctor of Ministry degree from Ashland Theological Seminary. MA in Clinical Pastoral Counseling from Ashland Theological Seminary, and BA from The Ohio State University, with distinction in Psychology. She is a licensed professional clinical counselor and a licensed chemical dependency counselor.

Dr. Bectoria Stafford MSW

Dr. Stafford is also the founder of Dr. Bectoria Stafford, LLC. Her education includes Doctor of Ministry degree from South University, MSW: Eastern Washington University School of Social Work, and a BA: University of Washington, with distinction in Psychology. She is a licensed social worker.

Praying for Women

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Join in our podcast as we explain who we are, what we do, and how we help others. Join us in our blogs as we discuss the issues laid upon our hearts. Dr. Bednar’s first blogs will be on discipleship, mentoring, 1 Peter 5, and leadership. Dr. Stafford’s first blogs are on addiction, Christian beliefs, and a letter to the single mom.

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